I look forward to the weekends. So, lets consider all the happening things I can plan over the weekend. Well, travelling, partying, dating & shopping! Now, lets consider all the not-so-happening things I can plan over the weekend. I guess, reading, photography, swimming, driving & 'orkutting'! So, I really do have an array of choice. Interesting. Also surprising. Infact quite surprising, because I don't actually land-up doing anything out of these happening or not-so-happening activities. So, then I wonder what makes me exclaim 'Thank God Its Friday'! What do I then really associate the weekend with?
Well, I think weekend for me is being at home. I don't imply the literal usage of 'home' here. Its more about being 'at home'. Its a feeling you may attach with a place or a person. Its a feeling which is an outcome of a delicate mix of factors like trust, ease, freedom, comfort, companionship (care & share), and the like.
For instance, I felt just at home at this erstwhile cafe 'Red Bricks' in South Delhi. Its kind of weird, because being an elite cafe that it was, it had a very up-market crowd, quite unlike me. The place was always packed with dainty, watchful, mannerly firangs, and also Indians, but there was something so different about the place, beyond the ambience, which just made me feel just 'at home'. Five minutes in the cafe, with someone or without anyone, and I could just sprawl out on the couch, laugh heartily, eat merrily, and be myself. I have literally walked into the cafe with pyjamas on, early morning around seven-ish, to catch the early morning breakfast usually baked beans and toast, and also with track pants on, late evening around seven-ish, for a smoothie. Infact, it was also my haven against the scorching noon heat, when I used to laze around the place with my mathematics text-book, but just end-up either watching television or reading. And, to top it all, the café did have a classy book-shelf and the most diverse collection of books I have ever experienced anywhere but a bookstore, including Kamasutra, Sidney Sheldon's, Paulo Coelho's, Jack Welsh's, Steven Covey's, Linda Goodman's, Peter Drucker's, and just about everything you would wish to flip through in a cafe. Red Bricks was truly my second home, and quite often I wonder why. Well, it was undoubtedly my kind of place, cosy and classy, and probably it interested me more so because of the good food and books. Besides, since I was a regular customer, or rather an inhabitant, the people at the cafe knew me quite well, they greeted me everytime I went, gave me a 10 percent discount on everything, served me breakfast even if I was some half-an-hour past their timings, let me in for coffee even past the closing time, and also allowed me to borrow books (on a returnable basis). So, I think rule no 1 is the place does matters and rule no 2 is the people do matter.
People make you 'at home' by accepting you the way you are, besides of-course you being able to be yourself with them. Both the conditions have to be true to make one feel 'at home'. You should be able to burp and scratch, yet be wanted and loved for being yourself when 'at home'. Its people who make a house a home, quite cliched but true. I am sure all of us have atleast that one someone with who we are ready to tread any path and yet be 'at home'. I know it just sounds bookish, but I think its true to certain extent. Of-course the extent to which this statement could hold good is determined by your relationship with the person. Personally I am 'at home' anywhere with my mom. Their presence just makes things easy, comfortable, lively, and so much 'at home' for me that the place stops mattering to me anymore. Its quite a feeling, and a feeling which I cant quite describe.
Some people also associate home with parents! Parents are definitely the best lot, you love them for just being there, always, unconditionally. You may not 'get along' with them and they may not 'understand' you because they belong to a different generation, abide by different rules and umpteenth other reasons, but even then they are there for you, always, unconditionally. Their love is not determined by your looks, your intelligence, your skills, your salary, your network, your performance or any such factor. Its quite unconditional, and beyond such transient factors.
So, what really is implied by being 'at home'? I think its about a state of mind where you can be yourself, without any accessory or make-up to beautify you, without any title or designation to glorify you, or without any pretension or facade to add to the 'real you'. Its about being what you are- whether its good, bad or ugly. And, its also about being accepted as what you are by the people around you- good, bad or ugly.
(PONDERER ME)
- Namrta Batra