Why I like Facebook! :)

Of-course life is not perfect. It has its ups and downs. Yet it is beautiful.  Just like relationships.

As human beings we want to and tend to remember all the good times. I don't remember my terrible fights with my brother while growing up, but I have memories all the thoughtful things that he has done for me since childhood. I also don't have pictures of stressful, horrible times my parents and I have experienced, but we do have a collection of the good times we have shared together as a family. Now, when you leaf through our family albums, which my mom regards as a treasure, would that make you wonder if my life is perfect or want my life? C'mon, that's such a silly thought!

So why is Facebook different! In my grandfather's generation, it was common to visit people (and not telephone) to greet them. It was also common to display family pictures and souvenirs from travel in houses, and have wedding albums et al as coffee table books. In my mind, Facebook has replaced just that. I would 'friend' my friends (anyone who I am also open to inviting over to my living room) on Facebook, would greet them through Facebook, and share what I would share had they visited me. Then of-course there are privacy levels and settings!

Now, how does that make my life perfect! Or make anyone else have my life, or vice-versa! Isn't that a very juvenile thought? I would argue that people who are less vocal on social media (Facebook is just a part of it) actually don't have strong opinions or are just more cautious of taking a stand in public in general. Even I would be at times. I am not very informed about the state of Indian healthcare system currently and would certainly avoid the subject.

On the contrary, I like the feeling of being 'connected' to friends and family through Facebook at all times. When I wake up in the morning and scroll through my feed to find my friends, Sancharita's or Shuchita's pictures, I feel so very happy for them. It kind of makes a part of my day in a silly way! I love to find out that my brothers had fun the previous night, or my bua and uncle are finally settled in Nigeria. All this and more without even having spoken to them for weeks at a stretch at times. Now, that's super convenient - and I promise I still love my life with all its imperfections, and wouldn't take it for your's :)

The break that was - and frustrations of life!

Jan 8th. Flight 416. AUS-MDW.

And thus my holiday and time with Raghav come to an end.. for now.

No doubt, it can be difficult not to stay miles away from one another especially if enjoy each other's company the most. Ahem! Well, yes, we both like to hang out with one another because that's when we have the most fun.

A typical day for us is full of laughs. We laugh atleast 50% of the time we are up together (sometime even more). On what, you may ask! Let me try to jot down a comprehensive list here: Hindi slangs, jingles from old advertisements (includes signing them together), Bollywood movies and songs, our insane but loving families (sorry people!!), Indian superstitions, our silly little goof-ups at work/school and home, Mahabharata - the TV show (recent addition to the list), my poor Hindi (it's not that poor!), few American things, b-school fads, our Indian grocery store's shady revenue streams.. so on and so forth. But mostly at each other. We pull each other's leg to the limit, and because its always in jest and good spirit, even the person, who's the butt of the jokes, enjoys it.. until its just the two of us!

We never make a joke of Indian politics (even though its a joke) for Raghav is extremely sensitive about it and hopeful of a better India. Cricket is also a very serious subject and Raghav behaves as if he is PMS-ing when India loses a cricket match. He would actually pass a chance to make out for watching a cricket match! We also don't make fun or laugh at other people (barring family - we love you  guys!) because we believe that we have no right to judge them or anything that they do.

I really can relate ourselves to 'Marshall and Lily' from 'How I Met Your Mother'. We are similar to them in so many ways including using a single toothbrush! Well, let me defend.. we always have two tooth-brushes but my husband doesn't care to be careful in picking his own (when its just the two of us). As a result, I just use the one that's not wet! Oh, and we have the telepathy thing going most times.. which is why we don't need to communicate much in words.

This also brings us to our nicknames.. Bobo (from baby.. as if that wasn't cute enough already), Gufu baby, Bachche (literal Hindi translation of 'child', often used authoritatively while nagging), Bebu (only Raghav uses this to address me).

We definitely feel incredibly fortunate to have found such a partner in one another who understands most things without having to say them out loud. It maybe due to the fact that we belong to the same generation (with me being an year older) or that we grew up in the same town. Well, whatever it is, it works quite well for us. Despite all this, we are not blind to one another's faults or weaknesses - and can be extremely critical about each other to each other, more in a positive and encouraging way.

One thing however we need to get better at is becoming comfortable to express our love for one another infront of people. I can be very shy when we are with people. I don't express my feelings, then get frustrated about it and take out my frustration by yelling at Raghav for no good reason infront of the very people. His response 'I am sorry' because he knows darn well what's going on! We are a cuddly couple and lack of it with company can be frustrating for me. Raghav, on the other hand, tends to feel ignored when I don't give him enough attention with other people. Then tries to get me involved in simple things such as navigation (he can pretty much look in the GPS by himself).

Aah, it pained me so much to hear Raghav call me from work, while I was at the airport, to say 'I don't feel like going home today!'.. but he stopped right there and was very vary of saying 'Come back home. Don't go back to Chicago' for he knew that I actually would!!

Bobo, just six more months! It was you who wanted me to graduate from Kellogg, and not go to the University of Texas. And you bore it out thus far while egging me on each day. Soon we will have our life back, and our laughs back! Right here on this couch, we will cuddle up, silently talk and crack up! Love you.

CONSULTING, nay!

We do have serious conversations at times. Most times though we are just pulling one another's leg and having fun at the expense of each other. Seldom, its families and friends. Mostly each-other though. Again, goes back to prove how content we are with one another. Just kidding!

Before I digress again, one of these serious conversations was about me deciding not to pursue a career in consulting. Raghav had just returned from a dinner with a consultant friend, who's wife is also a consultant. So either set of grand-parents live with them at all time to take care of their kid.

Deep in thought, Raghav theorized how our parents would feel terrible if they had to leave their homes and social circles to stay with us.

(Yes, our parents do have a very active life. My grand-mom & mom have a huge social circle, social organizations that they work with and kitty parties. My dad has his own gang of guys who have a pretty good time, I say. Raghav's parents have a different type of active lifestyle, which is a healthy mix of thought-provoking and religious activities, if that makes sense. Ah well!)

He also contemplated if we would be content with not spending much time with our kids during the week. Then he suddenly said, "I am sure you thought the same way when you decided against consulting".. "You know, you would feel guilty if your parents had to give-up their life to stay with us to take care of our kids."

Without contemplating over it even for a minute, or articulating myself to sound more sensitive, I just blurted, "Honestly, I don't care that much about the parents or the hypothetical kids. The only reason why I didn't choose to go into consulting was because I WANT TO COME HOME TO YOU EVERYDAY... see you everyday, cook dinner for you everyday and sleep in your arms everyday. LIFE WITH YOU IS SO BEAUTIFUL and why wouldn't I want to spend every moment possible with you!"

That is how I truly feel about it, and at times I wonder whether Kellogg was the right choice.

Random updates on my life!

1) I was subscribed to word games through some random website where I entered my email and was being charged $10 every month for the last few months. When I called AT&T to cancel it, they offered to install a 'purchase blocker', a free service that prohibits any subscription on my line without my prior approval, and I naturally opted for it. Immediately, my husband, whose the primary account holder for our 'family plan' received a message stating that 'PARENTAL CONTROLS' have been established on my line.

Result: He immediately called me up to tell me how adorable I am and how I really am 'his baby'. Of-course the conversation ended with how with me being around, he really doesn't need 'another baby' (a literal baby). Talk about not leaving any occasion to drive the hidden agendas!

2) I recently got upset with Raghav for not calling me back in a minute, as he had promised, and decided not to answer his zillion calls thereafter. (I admit, I was PMS-ing). He kept calling for a long time without any break, so I felt bad and decided to text him back. Now we weren't talking, but we were texting. For an hour. Here's how it ended.

Me: ' Thanks to you, I am not reading my case anymore. Can you not disturb me now?'

Raghav: 'No, I will keep disturbing you for your entire life. I am sorry but that's what you signed up for'

Talk about having no ego in a relationship, which makes the special something even more beautiful!

Domestic Violence, right here!

After reading up more about the laws dealing with domestic violence in India, I am convinced that Raghav can file domestic violence charges against me. Haha!

Raghav & I (Part 1)

"I wouldn't have been even one-tenth as happy (as I am) if you hadn't married me", whispered Raghav while trying to wake me up on a Sunday morning. In deep slumber until then (despite having been asleep for 9 hours), I suddenly woke up with a jolt and asked with an annoyed expression 'What! That's not true!'. He replied defensively 'Of-course it is!', raising his voice, 'I am sure I wouldn't have been even one-tenth as happy.' Most of my weekends indeed begin with Raghav telling me how very much he loves me and how he can't live without me. It sure makes me feel very special and appreciated, and makes me wonder what life would have been without love or without expression of love. Not half as beautiful, I bet!

At times, I also wonder what is it that binds Raghav and I together. We are so very different in every conceivable way. I dislike so many things about him and am always nagging him for those but if I asked him about what he would change about me, he looks utterly puzzled and says 'Why would I change anything about you? I love you so much!' (and usually follows it up with a worried 'Please don't become like me. I don't like myself as much as I like you!'). I can almost hear him add 'However, I would like you to read The Economist every week, and sleep for maximum 7 hours if you absolutely should sleep that much, and please don't ask "who the hell is that" when I talk about the Indian cricket captain' but at the end of the day he considers these trivial. For me, everything is a deal breaker. (After all, I tell him to wash his face thrice a day so that he doesn't get acne)!

I feel very responsible and protective towards him. Does he feel protective? Nay! He values freedom, so he gives me ton of it and wants ton of it in return. However, he does feel accountable to me, so I get to set his limits. Within those limits, he is pretty much independent to do whatever he wishes. Of-course the limits are pretty constrained themselves, a tad bit oxymoron-ic, which can be restraining at times. He also feels accountable for my happiness. Just as I feel responsible for his! My hypothetical difference between both is responsible is backward looking whereas accountable is forward looking. So if I didn't celebrate his b'day with him, I feel terribly guilty, can't eat, can't sleep, and am extremely apologetic, to a point where he almost exclaims 'enough, not a big deal' while I resolve never ever to miss his b'day. Whereas, if he misses my b'day, he would instead try to make-up by doing something super fun that I would have never conceived, but every girl would silently wish for, or  even celebrating it twice or thrice on a much grander scale to make-up for that one occasion. Although its great, I must admit that the fact that he is not sorry for missing the occasion, makes me quite mad at times. This isn't all. I have more to crib about, but by and large, we do accept each-other with one another's idiosyncrasies and feel blessed to wake up by each other's side. Life couldn't have been more beautiful!

To be contd.

Heart-to-heart!

Me: "How's dad?"

Mom: "Ah, he cares only about his work. He doesn't care about me or home anymore." Then after a brief pause (while I was thinking really hard about something), "How's Raghav?"

Me: "He's been fine. However, you got me little worried now."

Mom (perplexed): "Why?"

Me: "What if he turns into a workalcoholic like dad, and stops loving me by the time he is 55? Even worse, what if he stops being scared of me (more appropriately, scared of upsetting me, hurting me and losing me)?"

Mom, just laughed, and followed up with a quick, "Raghav would never cease loving you. I've noticed the way he looks at you and treats you, and I promise you this."

Silent prayer - 'God, please let mom be true.'